Is Your Pet Getting the Best of You?
In a recent article in The Atlantic Derek Thompson cited an interesting statistic. In the last 20 years, the average time people spent with their pets nearly doubled, while time spent with friends plummeted. Good for the pets, but not so great for us it seems. Thompson argues that the spikes we see in anxiety and depression have some correlation to decreased human relationships.
One of the things that can help increase human relationships is something Thompson calls social infrastructure. Another word for social infrastructure is community. Community is more than just a place where you are surrounded by people you already know and like. Thompson defines community as “places where people keep showing up.”
When my younger son Matt went off to college, his older, already graduated brother gave him some great advice on meeting people. He said, you must go somewhere 8 times. The first few times you go somewhere, you are insecure, and the people seem hard to connect to. But if you keep showing up, connecting gets easier.
Infrastructure matters. We are learning this in Baltimore where we suddenly and tragically lost a bridge. I usually don’t think about bridges when I use them. I think about where I am going. But I could not get there without the bridge. We tend to take for granted the things that create connection until they are gone.
I may be wrong about this. But it seems like men in particular need places to just show up. We have several weekly groups at Leadline that target men. I notice that for many of the men, the consistency of having a place to go makes a difference. They need a place to be before they decide to belong or believe.
“Let us not neglect meeting together, as some have the habit of doing. Rather, let us encourage each other” (Hebrews 10:25). Here are a few questions to think about:
Where in your life can you, and others, just show up?
How can you help build places like that for your benefit and others?
What are you like when you are in community? Bored? Distracted? Giving? Kind?
Thanks for helping Leadline build bridges. It makes a difference.
God bless,
The Donohues
